ENM Types: Exploring the Different Ways to Love

Relationships don’t come in a one-size-fits-all package. While monogamy is the default for many, ethical non-monogamy (ENM) offers alternative ways to connect, love, and build relationships. But what does ENM actually look like? And, on the flip side, did you know there are different types of monogamy too? Let’s break it all down.

What Are the Forms of ENM?

Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is an umbrella term for relationships that involve multiple partners with honesty, consent, and clear communication. Here are some of the most common ENM types:

• Polyamory – Having multiple romantic relationships with the knowledge and consent of all involved. Emotional and romantic connections are emphasized.
• Open Relationships – A committed couple allows for outside sexual (but not necessarily romantic) connections.
• Swinging – Typically, committed partners engage in recreational sex with others, often in a group or party setting.
• Relationship Anarchy – Rejecting traditional relationship structures and prioritizing autonomy, with no hierarchy between partners.
• Monogamish – A mostly monogamous relationship that allows occasional sexual encounters outside the partnership.
• Casual Non-Monogamy – Dating or having multiple connections without deep emotional commitment.

ENM is all about what works best for the people involved—there’s no single right way to do it!

What Are the Five Types of Monogamy?

Even within monogamy, not all relationships look the same. Here are five common forms:

1. Sexual Monogamy – Being physically intimate with only one person.
2. Social Monogamy – Acting as a couple in social settings but not necessarily exclusive sexually.
3. Emotional Monogamy – Prioritizing one person for deep emotional connection, even if there’s openness sexually.
4. Pragmatic Monogamy – Choosing monogamy based on practical reasons (like family stability or personal preference) rather than strong emotional or moral beliefs.
5. Monogamy by Default – Being monogamous simply because it’s expected, not necessarily because it was consciously chosen.

Final Thoughts

Whether you’re drawn to ENM types or different forms of monogamy, the key is choosing relationships that align with your values, needs, and boundaries. Love isn’t about following a rulebook—it’s about creating connections that feel right for you.